By Ricardo Márquez
This pain hurts deeply because we carry it inside of us — in our heart, in our mind — and it affects our health.
This pain in our soul tends to be hidden, caused by wounds that we don’t want to show in the open because we would be embarrassed if others knew about them; they are our shadows.
The pain in our soul accumulates since the beginning of life, since the first feelings of acceptance, stress or rejection in the mother’s womb. As we grow, we live in an environment that will mark us for life, leaving marks of acceptance, emotional security and well-being when affection, care and tenderness prevail. The effects are devastating when they exist in a family context of neglect, verbal or physical violence, and dissatisfaction.
Life, which is a mystery, can’t be reduced to theories, metrics and formulas; and it always delivers surprises, lessons and possibilities. Along the way, we experience the loss of loved ones, rifts among siblings, divorce, accidents, economic loss, illness, natural catastrophes and wars … traumatic events that leave permanent marks in our cerebral circuits. These memories can suddenly and repetitively assault our mind, altering our emotions to rage, anxiety and depression.
In nature, when an animal is wounded, he returns to his cave to recuperate and heal. It’s the natural tendency in the face of a wound. The same thing happens to us; that’s why we isolate ourselves, protect ourselves, not wanting to talk to anyone, or be seen. This natural defense mechanism works well initially, but it’s not enough. Searching for help, sharing with trusted people willing to listen to us and accompany us – this allows the soul to leave its hiding place, find the light and begin to heal.
The soul emerges when there is trust and acceptance; it hides when there is judgment and rejection. The process of healing leads to the discovery that, behind every wound, there is a frustrated need, a hidden treasure that can be recovered. The wounds in our lives are emotional openings, new spaces to deeply explore our being, to rediscover what we’re really searching for, what is essential in our lives; to become aware of what we ignored or have refused to see … and from that exploration and awakening can emerge a great light that renews and transforms us.
Where we believed we were lost, we are saved. When we hit rock-bottom in the abyss, the pain in our soul binds us to the multitudes, humanizes us and opens us up to compassion. It is in these moments of vulnerability that the light emerges; a light of acceptance and humility that breeds fraternity. When wounded souls encounter each other, there are no hierarchies.
While I share this reflection, I recall the situations Jesus encountered while walking this earth, when lepers, the blind and those paralyzed drew near Him. I think about my “leprosy” that drives me away from others, my blindness that doesn’t allow me to see, and my fear that paralyzes me. I connect to my profound wish for peace and healing and openly clamor: “Lord, I know that You can heal me if You want to.” And I listen to the response from the interior of my conscience: “Do you want to heal?” And by responding with the power of faith — “Yes, I want to” — I listen to the voice that connects me to profound hope: “May it be as you wish.”
